Part Two - Get Your Relationship with Your Father on the Right Track Today
Manhood and Masculinity Blog Posts Series
For many men, life can seem like a burden. After all, traditionally, we're expected to be the breadwinners while also fulfilling our day-to-day responsibilities and obligations. On top of that, with modern media constantly bombarding us with visuals of perfection and success, it can feel overwhelming (and sometimes impossible) to try and measure up. But not having a life isn't a foregone conclusion - there are ways we can proactively work towards achieving our goals for ourselves in order to have an overall more meaningful existence. In this blog posts series, I'm going to explore the advantages and disadvantages of the traditional model of "masculinity," why most men don't have a life, and provide practical advice on how modern men can be the best version of themselves, both as individuals and in their relationships with others.
See Part One - Most men don’t have a life here
Establishing a healthy and strong bond with your father may be one of the most important relationship-building exercises in life. When things are right between you and your father, it is easier to build meaningful relationships with other men in your life, from uncles and brothers to mentors and friends. Taking the time to actively work on getting things right between you and your father can not only help you feel connected and understood throughout childhood, but will also provide you the building blocks for successful relationships far beyond it.
Trying to repair a relationship with your father can be challenging, especially when it feels as though nothing you do is ever enough. It can feel like no matter what you do, whether it's apologizing or attempting to make things right, there's no way to break through the tension. It's important to remember that even if it takes time, unless the relationship with your father is mended the two of you may never be able to move forward and make progress. Through patience and understanding, anything is possible and it's best to stay hopeful that one day there will finally be a breakthrough.
As humans, it is vital to remain connected with family members through regular communication. Everyone needs someone in their life that they feel safe having a deep and honest conversation; most often, this is our father. Whether our father is alive and present in our lives or not, we need to have these conversations. If alive, it is essential to share your thoughts and feelings openly so that a strong bond can grow. If gone, take some time alone to listen carefully to your inner voice - embrace that connection by thinking deeply on what he meant to you and how his knowledge benefits you today. In both cases, remember: your father will spend his life waiting for you to have this type of meaningful and confidence-building conversation.
The harsh reality is that too many men go through life believing they are not good enough and don't measure up to others. This is especially true for men who may feel pressure to meet their own expectations and those of society. Whether it be in their careers, relationships, or abilities, some men struggle with the idea of being meek or inadequate compared to the accomplishments of those around them. Sadly, the weight of these feelings and pressures can end up leading to an unsatisfying life as many carry these feelings deep into their graves. It's important for men to recognize this struggle and shed light on it in order to live a fulfilled life.
Our fathers are often complicated individuals and can be difficult to understand. Sometimes, we may experience various types of hurt or disappointment due to some of the decisions they make. But, it is important to realize that these feelings are simply part of the process of making sense of our experiences with our fathers and their impact on us.
Understanding, forgiving and even respecting our fathers helps us to move forward in life with greater confidence and appreciation for our own journey toward personal growth. It encourages us to build a better relationship with ourselves, one that is filled with understanding and gratitude for the person we have become despite our parents' influence.
In part III of this blog series, we will see how learning to develop meaningful relationships with other men isn't just important for emotional support but can boost a man's self-esteem levels and help them build strong relationships.